Cottage vs. Shepherd's

Leftover cottage pie is my friday night reward. I feel like such a bum. It's not even shepherds pie - bastard Tesco's didn't have any fucking lamb mince when I went earlier this week so it's bleedin' beef instead. Incidentally, that's the only difference between COTTAGE and SHEPHERDS pie as far far as I'm aware (Delia agrees with me much to my horror - fuck knows what she's doing with leeks and cheese, though - elevates my bog-standard pauper's pie into something worthy of inclusion in her 'five star category' apparently - well she hasn't got Bernard The Well'ard Ceramic Mallard to cook hers in so fuck'er) ... As every red blooded male knows, it's what meat you're packing downstairs that matters. On top of both is the ubiquitous layer of mash that seems to cover everything nowadays, like the advance of polar glaciers in the Day After Tomorrow. It's more than just content though. Lamb is a bit fancy, innit: beef is a more chav, like... you don't get lamb burgers in MaccyDees, do you? And I'm sure you can get an ecomony cottage pie in pretty much all supermarkets. Not shepherds pie, though. Maybe lamb testicles just aren't large enough to be viable in today's monster sized mincing machines (very Matrix). It also strikes me that there's an element of urban / rural divide in this equation too. Dirty, shirty townies eating their minced moo-muff pies in seedy george micheal cottages while shepherds get to ride around the countryside in their bloody-great 4x4's bragging about their signifcantly higher life expectancy from all their fresh air breathing, healthy lifestyling, lamb eating ways. That's the way I see it (it was nice, though).
It makes me angry when Tesco runs out of lamb mince...